Reflections from an Open Nester

A family friend recently congratulated me and my husband on successfully getting our younger daughter past the finish line and into college. Our family of four will now be a family of two (plus a fur baby) this fall. What an accomplishment this whole college process was, and boy was it a process. While both of our girls have worked hard, we have also worked hard at worrying about what came next for them and guiding them to this new, exciting chapter. I view college as a win for the entire family and am prepared to fully embrace my own new chapter of being an open nester. What You Can Do for Your New College Student Be flexible about communication expectations Every student is different. Some need the daily reassurance of a text from a parent, while others will be less in touch once they arrive on campus. Communicate with your students around communication expectations going forward. Don’t be surprised if what happens doesn’t match the plan; students who are adjusting well may not think of home very often and that’s a good thing! Set the expectation around keeping in touch but be flexible along the way. Send care packages (and maybe even a letter by snail mail!) Care packages are universally loved whether you create your own or choose a company to do it for you. All are great ways to let your student know they are in your thoughts. Last year, I hired a local woman near my older daughter’s campus to send her a basket of cookies to share with her friends to celebrate her birthday. Some schools, such as University of Massachusetts Amherst and the University of Richmond, offer care packages through the dining services. Empower them to problem solve College is a great time for "adulting with some supervision." Encourage your student to think about any challenging situation at hand (a loud roommate, a tough class, indecision about their major) and see if they can solve it without calling you first. Most of the time, they have the answer but might not have confidence. Your student can also find support on campus, so empower them to seek out that support through tutoring, counseling, academic advising, and faculty office hours. What You Can Do for Yourself Honor your feelings Just like those first phone calls where my older daughter teared up saying that she missed my hugs, I was surprised to find that I also had some big feelings about her being 10 hours away from home. It’s ok to miss your student. There are so many ways to keep in touch these days and show that you can be a listening ear from many states away. Get ready to learn who you are now Plan to rediscover your own hobbies and consider some intentional health and wellness goals. I am excited to spend more time at the beach, collecting sea glass and making art. While your student is off learning how to get along with others and mastering new subject areas, you are doing the same thing. What new challenges do you want to take on as you have more free time? How will you live in your house that previously held more bodies? What did you enjoy doing before raising children? Get ready to rediscover what makes you tick.