Growing Minds, Not College Resumes: Why the Elementary Years Aren’t about College Admissions
I vividly remember a day when my son was an infant and a parent chased me down in the parking lot of his childcare center, eager to ask me for guidance on how to prepare their preschooler to be a competitive applicant for highly selective colleges. Although I was startled and fumbled through that unexpected interaction, I later realized that at the core of that frenzied moment was a parent simply wanting the world for their child. As my children have grown and I’ve expanded my professional experience to include supporting parents of elementary school children, my perspectives as a college counselor, past admissions officer, and social worker have expanded as I’ve learned how to best support elementary school families.
First, I want to provide some foundational understanding about the college admissions process to set realistic expectations and decrease the stress of families of elementary-aged students. Colleges truly have no preference between different extracurricular activities, and no activities or accomplishments prior to 9th grade will be part of the college application. There is no activity, accomplishment, advanced class, or any specific action that must be taken now to ensure success in the application process. Instead, elementary school is a time to explore! Encourage your student to try new things, quit some things, and figure out what interests they may want to pursue in middle school, high school, and beyond. You may notice over time that certain activities and events bring a natural joy, an easy smile, a spark to your child. If you see that, embrace opportunities to feed and nurture that spark – it may grow into their superpower! Elementary school is the strategic time to foster curiosity and a love of learning, while forming strong foundations in reading, writing, and math so students can deeply explore their academic interests as they grow.
Many elementary schools focus on social-emotional learning as a core framework to help students engage in the world; these are essential skills that should be prioritized.
- Social-emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. The ultimate goal of SEL is to encourage practice and reflection of core character traits such as empathy, kindness, collaboration, and grit—all skills that will help our children throughout life’s ups and downs, including high school and the pathway to college.
- Activities can be ideal spaces to explore and stretch these emerging skills, but avoid the urge to create too much “busy-ness”—a full calendar of competitions, teams, and other activities, without time to breathe or reflect—to crowd out purposeful growth.
- Explore your student’s interests through activities and hobbies.
- Foster a love of learning and incorporating reading, writing, and math into life.
- Read up on social-emotional learning and its impact on childhood development.
- Read The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and resilience in Your Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. The "Yes Brain" approach teaches balance, resilience, insight, and empathy to children and parents.
- Explore the CASEL (The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) website that includes resources for educators, policymakers, and families with an emphasis on evidence-based social and emotional learning.
